Camilla In San Myshuno

Episode 74: Girl Talk II

Two Days Later.
Starbucks | San Myshuno.

Sixteen days … they were at sixteen days now! At this point, Camilla just knew Salim and Aahana would never speak to each other again. He keeps saying it’s fine. It’s all he ever says anytime she brings it up but she knows it’s not and it was really starting to mess with her. No matter how hard she tried, and she was really trying, she just could not shake that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. The feeling that screamed, this is your fault Camilla. She had to do something about it and soon before this guilt … consumed every part of her.

Camilla: I think … I’m going to break up with Salim.
Jesminder, shocked: Uh, what? Weren’t y’all just happy like, this morning?
Cassandra, confused: Yeah, where is this coming from?
Camilla: [sighs] Just all the stuff that’s going on with him and the baby mamaright now … I’ve just been thinking about it … A LOT.
Jesminder: Okaaaay… but … what does any of that have to do with you and him though?
Camilla: Everything … I mean, I’m the only reason they’re even in this situation in the first place.
Cassandra: And you think breaking up is going to … somehow fix it?
Camilla: Well, yeah cause, baby mama won’t be mad anymore, and they’ll go back to talking, then by the time the babies are born, they’ll all be on good terms again.

The girls looked at each other then back at Camilla. This theory of hers was seriously flawed in ways that jumped right out at them but seemed to somehow missed her on the way. It’s like her judgement was clouded by her inability to look past her own feelings and see the situation from any other perspective but her own. This was something she had a huge problem with, that she allowed to dictate her actions, time and time again in the past and now … she was doing it again.

Cassandra: Listen, Camilla, we love you but-
Jesminder: This shit you’re talking bout makes no sense.
Cassandra: What she means is-
Jesminder: You have a tendency to go off the deep end whenever shit starts happening. And this right here … is all the way over in the 8 ft side of the pool somewhere.
Camilla, defensive: Wha- I don’t do that. What are you even talking about?
Jesminder: Yes, you do. Take all that shit you had going on back home, with your ex, for example. Your first thought was to uproot your entire life, everything you’ve ever known, and move all the way to another city, just so you didn’t have to see him and that hoe again.
Cassandra: [nods] Mhm. And remember with the whole baby thing, you were going to run off and get an abortion just cause you decided Salim wasn’t available for something he didn’t even know he needed to be available for.
Jesminder: This is kind of your M.O., girl.
Cassandra: [nods] It really is.

Was it really? There’s no way she could’ve had a pattern like this without her knowing. Even with the Brandon and the baby thing, those were both different because … they were just different, but with this situation, she really was trying to do what was best for everyone involved, it wasn’t just about her feelings.

Camilla: [sitting quietly]
Listen, girl … just give them a little time to work things out cause I know it feels like everything is your fault but trust me when I tell you it’s not. Relationships are way more complicated than that, so taking yourself out the equation may not do anything but leave you heartbroken in the end.
Cassandra: So just .. don’t make any big decisions yet. Unless you really are ready to be done with all this and if you are-
Jesminder: That’s okay, cause you have to do what’s best for you.
Cassandra: So … are you done … with Salim?
Camilla: [shakes head] No … I don’t want to be.
Jesminder: [smiles] That’s what I figured so just wait it out a bit.

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