Ask Mellindi

Ask Mellindi: “How to Create Conflict in Sims Relationships?”

Mellindi answers: "How to Create Conflict in Sims Relationships?"

Hi and welcome to Ask Mellindi, a weekly (or bi-weekly) column in which I answer all your questions about gameplay, mods, builds — or whatever Sims 4 topic you find yourself needing help with!

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Hi! Do you have any tips on how to create conflict in sims relationships? I want my sims to have complex relationships but I can’t figure out how to do this. Thank you for your time! I’ve been loving your blog!!

Hiiii there!!! This is such a great question because just like with most things in life, relationships are never ever simple. There are so many gray areas and nuances which for us, in real life, can be a pain but for stories, gives soooooooo much to write about! Before you can write these amazing and complex relationships though, you first need to understand your sims. See, in real life, a lot of the conflicts we experience with other people usually spans from the differences between us. For example, one sim may be on the frugal side. They shop around for deals before making any purchases and try to save money wherever they can. Their savings account has a small balance that they’re working towards growing. Their partner on the other hand, is the complete opposite. They don’t mind paying full price for items and have made one too many impulse purchases. Their checking account always has a negative balance but they don’t seem to mind. These two sims, as different as they are, are madly in love and can’t seem to get enough of each other. Once they move in together though, it’s a whole different story. The frugal sim is finding that their partner spends way too much money and isn’t contributing to the household as much as they should. As a result, the wasteful sim feels that the frugal sim is constantly on their case — see, conflict!


These differences aren’t always as obvious as the example given though and can stem from many other things like our own personal goals, life experiences, past traumas, wants, needs, fears, even outside sources — which is why having a true understanding of each sim involved is vital. If you’re planning to go the gameplay route of getting to know your sims, check out this Ask Mellindi answer which is full of tips for how to get to know your sim as well as how to develop a gameplay driven story. If you’re looking for something to help with a more structured, fleshed out story, I think you’ll find this guide on developing characters, this guide on the different types of conflict that exist within stories and this list of common conflicts in relationships useful.


I hope you find these resources helpful and I wish you all the luck on your story! 😊


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